Olmec Obituary Read online

  Through her fog of dejection Elizabeth tried to pay attention to the conversation between Taid – her grandfather, Rhys Evans – and Judy.

  ‘Thank you again,’ Taid said, his voice rich and smooth. ‘It was so good of you to help us.’

  ‘Of course, Rhys,’ Judy said. ‘I didn’t do anything, really. Elizabeth submitted such an excellent application she would have been chosen anyway. I’m so sorry…’ Judy’s voice trailed off. ‘I’m so sorry you lost William.’ She looked at Elizabeth. ‘All of you.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Taid said. ‘It’s been a difficult year, but thanks to you, here we are.’

  ‘And you have another book wrangler in the family!’ Judy said.

  ‘Yes,’ Taid grinned broadly.

  ‘So,’ Judy turned to Elizabeth, ‘first day on the job. Are you excited?’

  Tears stung the back of Elizabeth’s eyes and her fingers sought the cartouche around her neck. Her attempt to smile emerged as a grimace.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Judy continued. ‘First day at a new job is always nerve-wracking. You’ll be fine. You practically grew up here. And Rhys said you flew through the Diploma of Library Management in record time.’

  Elizabeth managed to smile this time. She had completed the year-long course in just seven months, and still came first in the class.

  ‘Everyone who worked with your father or grandfather is glad you’re joining us. The third generation from one family…It’s a bibliographic dynasty.’

  Elizabeth knew Judy was only trying to be kind, but she really wished she would stop talking about it.

  ‘Yes, we’re very proud of my Beth bach,’ Taid said. ‘You asked about Mathieu before, Judy. Would you like to see a recent school photo?’ Taid must have sensed that she was struggling, Elizabeth realised, for him to change the subject so abruptly. She was certain Grandmère Maddie had armed him with photos for just such a distraction.

  ‘Yes,’ Judy said. ‘It’s a couple of months since I’ve seen Matty or Sam. How are they?’

  As Taid and Judy pored over pictures of her brother and sister, Elizabeth stared at fat raindrops attacking the cafe windows. Lost in the deluge, pulling distractedly at her necklace, Elizabeth let her mind drift away from the conversation.

  Just half an hour until the horror began: her first day working as a librarian, and the official end of her career as an archaeologist. Until today, Elizabeth had harboured a tiny hope that somehow – somehow – enough money would appear in the family coffers to free her to return to archaeology, and to Luke.

  Despite the insurance payout from Dad’s death, which had reduced the mortgage, there simply wasn’t enough to cover household bills and Matty’s surgeries. Elizabeth knew her grandparents’ pensions couldn’t stretch that far, and – she huffed – the layabout Sam couldn’t be trusted to hold down a job. They could sell the house and downsize, of course, but the very idea was anathema. So many years of love and care had gone into the enormous, beautiful building that it was part of the family now.

  That left just one option: Elizabeth realised it was down to her to keep the family financially afloat. Dad would have expected no less. And while her income as a fledgling archaeologist was grossly insufficient, working at the country’s premier library meant Elizabeth could more than cover their needs. And that was that.

  ‘All right, time to go and meet the others,’ Judy said brightly.

  Elizabeth’s shoulders sagged. There was no avoiding it now.

  —

  After a quick pause in the bathroom to finger-comb hair and neaten clothing, Elizabeth and Judy headed to the auditorium. A group was gathered by the podium at the front; eight heads swung towards the two women as they step-shuffle-stepped their way down the oversized stairs to the front of the hall.

  Judy introduced everyone, her hands, her thatch of wild curls, and her gossamer clothes in constant motion. Elizabeth kept a smile on her face as she shook hands with each person in turn. The woman at the centre of the gathering, Margaret, was the program coordinator. The other graduates turned out to be Paul, short and dapper, and Sarah, tall, thin and no make-up. Next came the graduates’ initial supervisors. Elizabeth’s boss, Mark, seemed reasonably benign.

  The final two people she was introduced to were graduate ‘buddies’. Apparently each graduate was assigned a buddy to help them adjust to working in the Library. Paul and Sarah’s buddies were present; Elizabeth’s was currently on a customer-service desk. She would meet him later.

  ‘Please, everyone, help yourselves to tea and coffee, and take a seat for the presentation,’ Margaret said. She then moved into an explanation of the year ahead. Each graduate would complete three rotations of four months. Paul was to start in Exhibitions, move to General Collections and finally to Corporate. Sarah would start in IT, her speciality, then rotate through Asian Collections and the Main Reading Room.

  Elizabeth swallowed at the mention of Asian Collections, her Dad’s division. Elizabeth didn’t care where she was placed, as long as it wasn’t there. She barely heard Margaret say she would start in Maps, move to the Main Reading Room, which was Judy’s domain, then finish the year in Preservation.

  At the conclusion of the presentation, Margaret announced a general tour of the Library buildings. Paul and Sarah made noises of anticipation; Elizabeth’s stomach dropped.

  As feared, the tour provoked a flood of childhood memories. It began at the staff entrance, the very spot Dad first saw her mum standing beneath a red umbrella on a rainy day just like this one. Dad kept that tattered old umbrella for years.

  Elizabeth’s throat constricted as she posed for her security-pass photo. She tried not to scowl at the camera as Paul delivered an enthusiastic monologue on his background in public relations. Even Sarah, who seemed quiet and shy, was irritating. Elizabeth caught herself wanting to snap at both of them, and poked herself in the metaphorical ribs. Just because she was hurting, there was no need to alienate people. So, as the tour moved on, she asked first Paul then Sarah where they had studied. She catalogued their answers for future reference.

  The group entered the newly refurbished Main Reading Room, where Elizabeth had sat countless times with Mum and Sam, waiting for Dad to finish work. It was so long ago; Matty hadn’t even been born then. She was brought back to the present by Judy pointing out the Meirionnydd Reading Room in the corner.

  ‘This is a service for seriously dedicated library-goers,’ Judy was saying. ‘Competition for a desk in there can be fierce. Rumours of attempted bribery and corruption abound.’

  Next, they clattered downstairs to the underground cavern of books known as ‘the stacks’. As a small child, Elizabeth had been both entranced and terrified of the Library’s subterranean level. Taid’s evening tales of dark fantasy and danger had convinced her that huge Tolkien-style dragons lay in the shadows of the compacti, jealously guarding literary treasures.

  After one particularly distressing visit to the stacks, Elizabeth was forced to reveal her fears to her mother. Taid was scolded by both his wife and his daughter after that, and his ‘inappropriate’ choice of bedtime reading material was replaced by traditional European fairytales and Roald Dahl, an irony not lost on Elizabeth, even as an eight-year-old.

  ‘Stand aside, please,’ an electronic voice commanded, causing the group to jump. It was one of the stacks’ robots. Dependable and officious, the robots were indispensable as they transported heavy loads around the bowels of the Library. Bibliophilic versions of Doctor Who’s K-9, thought Elizabeth, as the squat unit trundled past.

  ‘All right,’ Margaret said, ‘now we’ll head to the staff offices. First up, Asian Collections.’ A wave of nausea struck Elizabeth.

  The ten of them fitted into the lift, just. Elizabeth’s limbs tensed with each passing floor. Bile rose in her throat as the doors opened and the group piled out.

  ‘How beautiful,’ Sarah exclaimed, pointing at the intricately carved desks and terracotta warriors in the Asian Collections Readin
g Room. While Sarah and Paul explored the room, Elizabeth focused on breathing slowly and deeply…She could do this.

  A small woman stepped out from behind the service desk, looking directly at Elizabeth as she walked towards the tour group. Elizabeth was struck by a similarity between this lady and Nainai, her Chinese grandmother. Perhaps this woman’s family came from the same part of China as Nainai?

  ‘Hello, Margaret,’ the woman said. Her voice jarred in Elizabeth’s mind. She had an Australian accent, not the Chinese one Elizabeth expected.

  ‘Hello, Mai,’ Margaret said. ‘Everyone, this is Mai. She will be your supervisor in your second rotation, Sarah.’

  ‘Hello,’ Mai said, shaking Sarah’s hand. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’

  Mai turned back to Margaret. ‘We’re ready for you, if you’d like to bring the group through? I’ve prepared some handouts.’

  She has lovely manners, thought Elizabeth, following the group through a staff doorway. A huge desk-filled room opened before her. Elizabeth started to shake. This was the room where Dad had worked. Don’t overreact, stay calm. It’s been a year, you can do this.

  ‘I’ll just get the handouts from my desk,’ Mai said.

  Trailing behind Mai, Elizabeth realised they were all headed to Dad’s desk. A welter of memories swallowed her: Dad, sitting in that chair, talking to her, teasing her, laughing with her.

  Kaleidoscopic needles of light danced before Elizabeth’s eyes. She felt strangely cold, and a buzzing filled her ears. Somehow, rough carpet fibres were scratching the side of her face. She was distantly aware of Judy thrusting through the group and pulling her to her feet.

  Humiliated, the last thing Elizabeth saw before Judy pushed her from the room was Mai’s deep frown of disapproval.

  —

  Judy splashed icy water on Elizabeth’s face again and again. She was not gentle.

  ‘Breathe slowly,’ Judy instructed.

  Elizabeth held her breath for a second, then started convulsing with tears.

  Judy patted her back roughly. ‘No, slower than that,’ she commanded. ‘Slowly in…one, two, three…and out…one, two, three.’

  Elizabeth complied. Gradually, her breathing slowed and her sobbing stopped. She raised her face to the mirror. Her eyes were a startling, almost preternatural green, made even more vivid by her flushed cheeks. Her mascara was everywhere, her hair was stuck to the side of her face, and her scarf was half-soaked. Oh, brilliant. Shaking her head at the sight of herself, Elizabeth reached for paper towels.

  Judy stopped patting her back and leant against the bathroom bench. ‘So, can you tell me what just happened?’

  Elizabeth nodded, but found her voice gone. She swallowed and tried again.

  ‘I truly thought I was all cried out, but, that was Dad’s desk…’

  ‘Oh. I’m sorry,’ Judy said. She dragged one hand through her curls. ‘I didn’t realise you were still so upset. Well, obviously you’d be upset, but…’

  ‘I didn’t expect to react like that either,’ Elizabeth said. ‘I don’t want to be here, of course, but…’

  ‘What do you mean, you don’t want to be here?’ Judy asked, frowning.

  Elizabeth drew a sharp breath. Oops.

  ‘Well, my family – Matty – needs me. But if I didn’t have to stay for them I’d have gone back to Egypt after the funeral, finished my dig there, and then moved to Mexico with Luke. Instead, I’m here doing…’ Elizabeth caught herself before she insulted Judy’s profession, ‘…um, doing something that I don’t love the way I love archaeology.’

  ‘I see,’ Judy said. She paused for a few seconds. ‘Elizabeth, I’m going to give you the same advice Rhys gave me when I lost my husband. I didn’t listen to it myself, but I wish I had.’

  Elizabeth looked at her blankly.

  ‘Losing your father was an enormous shock. Then, you lost something else you love, in your case, working in archaeology. And you feel distanced from Luke. There is one remedy, and one remedy only.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Time. And as time passes, as you wait to feel better, you must be as kind to yourself as you can possibly be. I wasn’t, and it was a huge mistake.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I drove myself.’ Judy was still for once. ‘I punished myself, acting as though nothing had changed, when of course every­thing had changed. I worked myself into the ground. Your grandfather noticed, and tried to help me, but I wouldn’t listen. Then I collapsed at work, and I had no choice but to listen.’

  Ahh, that was why Judy felt indebted to Taid and remained such a close family friend.

  ‘Rhys must have given you the same advice, surely,’ Judy said. ‘Even while you grieve, you must do the little things you love as often as possible. Drink your favourite drinks. Eat your favourite foods. Do whatever makes you feel better. It’s the only way.’

  The terrible pain under Elizabeth’s breastbone eased slightly at Judy’s words. Taid had given her the same advice, but it only made sense now. Even the idea of sipping hot apple tea was comforting.

  ‘And, most importantly,’ Judy continued, ‘you must spend time with your closest friends. They know you the best. Better than your own family, usually.’

  ‘I can’t! Luke is in Mexico and Tanya is in Mongolia.’

  ‘Use Skype,’ Judy suggested.

  ‘I do, but it’s not the same.’

  ‘It’s something, though,’ Judy countered. ‘And you have your family; your grandfather, your grandmothers, your brother, your sister. They all love you.’

  Elizabeth let the reference to her dratted younger sister go without comment.

  ‘Now, let’s finish tidying you up.’

  Elizabeth washed her face, reapplied her make-up, and used the hand-dryer to bring her wet scarf back to its original mint-green colour. At least the damp patches on her black top and cargo pants weren’t visible.

  ‘Come on,’ said Judy, chipper again. ‘Pop a bit more colour on your lips and let’s go meet your colleagues.’

  —

  Judy led Elizabeth through a seemingly endless maze of corridors and stairs until they emerged into a large public space filled with couches. A staff canteen sat on one side of the room; the entrance to Maps beckoned on the other.

  Entering the Maps Reading Room, with its enormous globe atlas, ancient wall charts, and sturdy desks, Elizabeth felt calmer. The rear wall of the room was glass, and behind that was a fern tree-filled courtyard that opened onto the Library grounds.

  ‘Wark-ark!’

  Elizabeth jerked her head towards the bizarre sound. What on earth was that? Peering through the fern trees she spied…a peacock?

  ‘Oh, that’s Andrew,’ Judy said, ‘our poor, lonely birdy boy.’

  Elizabeth walked cautiously towards the glass wall that separated her from the peacock. Beyond his glorious tail she could see it was still raining outside; Andrew must have been sheltering from the downpour. ‘Where did he come from?’ she asked.

  ‘We think he wandered over from the colony of wild peacocks on the other side of the lake. Everyone here loves him. He even has his own Facebook page.’ Judy turned to face the reference desk. ‘Let’s introduce you to your buddy. Elizabeth, this is Nathan.’

  ‘Hi.’ Elizabeth extended her right hand.

  Nathan didn’t move to take it. He just stared at her. Uh oh, he could tell she’d been crying. Awesome first impression.

  Judy cleared her throat. Nathan started, as though prodded, then returned Elizabeth’s ‘Hi.’ He smiled as he took her hand.

  ‘I should introduce you to Lynton, as well,’ Nathan said. ‘Lynton!’ he called through a doorway, ‘Come and meet our new graduate.’

  An older woman dressed in slick layers of purple and black barrelled through the doorway. At the same time, Elizabeth’s new supervisor, Mark, walked through the Maps entrance. Judy moved towards him as Nathan introduced Lynton to Elizabeth.

  ‘Lynton’s the other member o
f the team here in Maps,’ Nathan explained.

  Elizabeth offered her hand to Lynton while watching Mark and Judy enter his office. She assumed Judy was explaining to Mark what had happened in Asian Collections. Elizabeth was concentrating so intensely on trying to overhear their conversation that she missed Lynton’s question.

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘Did you have to move to Canberra for the graduate program, or are you a local?’ Lynton repeated.

  ‘I’m from Canberra.’

  ‘That’s good,’ Lynton said. ‘It’s harder on the ones who move here from out of town. It’s better if your friends are here.’

  Elizabeth felt her face fall, but tried to sound positive. ‘Unfortunately my boyfriend and best friend both work overseas, but I do get to see them at Christmas time.’

  Nathan groaned. Elizabeth looked at him quizzically.

  ‘Uh, I’m sorry to hear that,’ he said. ‘You must be lonely, if they’re both away for most of the year.’

  It hurt too much to think about today. She shrugged. ‘Well, I’m pretty keen to get started on some work. Is there something I can help with?’

  Nathan took a few seconds to respond. ‘Okay…um…Let’s give you a quick tour, then get you started on cataloguing maps.’

  ‘That sounds good.’

  After a brief inspection of the staff area that overlooked Lake Burley Griffin, Nathan led Elizabeth to a climate-controlled vault. Entering the room, she detected the hint of urea that in the past had always whispered, ‘Books. Lots and lots of old books.’ Now it said ‘Maps’ as well. Hundreds of tightly curled scrolls nestled between the shelves, reminiscent of piles of papyri in ancient Egypt. Elizabeth relaxed as the cool, serene space took hold of her.

  Hoping to make a better impression on Nathan, Elizabeth reminded herself to run the making-friends protocol: show a little interest, ask personal questions, ensure you get a detail or two wrong when you recite their answers back later.